"Actually People"

"Actually people" are those people who interrupt your conversations to correct you on obscure or relatively unimportant details. They always begin their contradictions with "Actually..." For example.

Barbara: Well, I don't know what her problem is. She really treats him badly--Like for instance, when it comes to cleaning the house on weekends. She does nothing to help him. It's like she is the freakin' Queen of France or something and he's her footman. You know what I mean?
Mike: Yeah. I totally get you.
Asshole: Actually, a footman is someone who acts more like a butler. It would probably be maids who did the cleaning. A footman would be someone who like, waited on the Queen, bringing her food or preparing for guests.

As you can see by this exchange, the point is not about France, or who was cleaning the damn castle, or the correct terms for servants in the French feudal system. No one here cares who the Queen of France was at the time or what exactly a footman does with himself all day. The point is that a mutual friend is being treated poorly by his wife, girlfriend, or fiance'. Whether or not Barbara uses the historically correct nouns is immaterial. The "actually person" is just trying to look smart and draw attention to himself because at heart he is a selfish bastard who could care less about his friends' problems.
When you meet an "actually person," you will see the signs in just a few short minutes of talking to that person. Usually this involves lots of discussions about amazing things this person has done and how these things are always one degree better than anything you have done--ie. If you were in England for 4 months, he was there for a year, and so on. If you observe these ego centric tendencies, get as far away from that person as possible. In addition to the growing annoyance of pointless one-upmanship, they will eventually take any opportunity to draw attention to themselves and lamely make you look foolish. If this should happen, you might find yourself unable to suppress your desire to immediately punch that person in the face or knee them in the groin when applicable. This can lead to further problems, especially if you are in a public place like a lunchroom, office, or friend's funeral.
Know the signs, and play it safe.